Why Reciprocal?
In evolutionary biology, the four Fs are said to be the four basic and most primal drives that animals are adapted to have, follow, and achieve: to fight, flee, feed and... Fall in love. This is because they promote our survival and that of our genes.
Aside from feeding, these are all drives that are dependant on interaction with something or someone other than ourselves: so, we suffer for love, get into fights, have a tendency to feel anxious (fight or flight response), care about what other people think, lose healthy habits when one or more Fs are under threat. We are social animals: we weren't built to exist in isolation, and we exist in relation to the world around us. According to Systems Theory, reciprocity in relationships is an example of a universal process that operates in human and non-human interactions: individuals within a system are mutually influencing the functioning of others in subtle, yet powerful ways. Our understanding, and therefore response, to the world is a result of constant interaction, and all parties involved change as a result of such interaction. Every interaction we have can provide us with insight into the world lived from a different perspective. It can help us shift from the "stuckness" of our narratives, break an unhelpful habit, and challenge, confirm or enrich our core beliefs.
Why Learning?
When negotiating our experience, we can do so with judgment or curosity. Learning is a result of interaction, and learning is a process of growth that occurs regardless of the outcome: when I teach someone something they didn't know, if they learn it, I learn that I am able to teach it; if they don't, I learn I cannot teach it. To that person... Yet.
Curiosity is at the core of growth. If every event is seen as an opportunity to learn and understand, this also affects the way we respond to events and emotions.
Why Therapy?
From the Greek therapeia, therapy means ‘healing’: a wound will repair itself to function again; perhaps it will look different, but it will not hurt as much or at all. If we are not fulfilling our core drives or living an authentic life we might have unpleasant sensations, thoughts, and sometimes physical symptoms. Sometimes the view from the outside is clearer than from the inside, and reciprocal learning can help us change our point of view, consider other ones, and untangle the tangle. By opening up to change, we can heal.
